Well, the cold always brings out the worst in all our cars, and your is no differnt. However, this is too much trouble and is indicative of an underlying problem. A slightly harder shift would be one thing, but refusing to shift and then slamming means you have a sticking valve. A high mileage car I might undertsand, but not vritually brand new.
AWD is on all the time, and going into reverse does not stop it from funtioning. you are learning the hard way the way real mlimitations of this technology. I cannot tell you over the past weekend how many stuck AWD SUVs I passed, which just spun and spun, just like you excplained, even after they had been dug out most of the way. Of course, hard pakced snow or heavy sleet are absolutely the worse, but I think it shows that your tyres are really the key. I drove out of the 12 inches of hard sleet with a RWD 240 and snowtyres. I rokced it a little to get started and then just went. AWD is excellent for smaller amounts of snow or roads with some snow plow, giving yu incredible start up ttraciotn, but it isn;t 4WD.
I would seriously get the tranny checked out, and even mention its antics when it was stuck, and of course the heating suggests the climate control is having serious problems. If its under warranty ram them.
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