Sorry to hear of your loss. The fact is transmissions do not last for ever and yes they(the dealer techs should of known) BUT, the fact that you had a fluid sample taken at 22k with results like "high in alumium" and "abrasive" should of been a "Danger Will Robinson". So, to make it better, suggest you skip the dealer for a rebuild (they will only give you a re-manufacured unit done by the lowest bidder, i.e. MEXICO!)
Seek out a trusted tranny rebuild shop that can handle Volvos. You should get at least a 12mo/12k mile warranty with the work, and if they are good they will rebuild some fixes so as to "correct" the designed-in problems,namely allowing the trans to shift firmer, and this my friend helps in prolonging tranny life.
One more thing, I change my trans fluid every year,too often maybe, but the '97 Ford F-350 I have has 185K on it and no trans related problems, dollar-wise,not two-thousand-dollar foolish.