1. ...you get in the car after stopping at 7-11 and you remember that cup holders are against the law in Sweden.
2. ...your fan blower motor dies and you have to remove the entire dash and center console to replace it.
3. ...you look forward to changing the brake pads because it is so easy.
4. ...you watch your odometer roll over 160,000 miles and can't think of any reason why it won't roll over another 160,000 more.
5. ...you visit the Brickboard at least 3 or more times a day, just to see what everyone else is doing with their 240.


Anyone else?

567. You think that those SUV's are just too damn sleek.

You fix the water in the tailight problem by drilling a hole...and you're proud of such an "elegant" solution.

The new sheepskin seat covers cost you more than the car did.
--
1993 240 Classic; 1992 240; 1997 850 GLT

You're taking a driver safety class and when the instructor asks the room of 30 people who drives a car worth less than $10,000, you're the only adult raising your hand.

The real joke is that long after their expensive p.o.s. hits the p&p, I will, with the help of Brickboard, drive mine until I die. I have an identical one under a car cover that my daughter crashed two years ago, which shall yield parts for years to come. I'm concerned that my neighbors think it gives the property the "trashy trailer park" sort of look. Oh well, parts is parts. It is my quest for eternal frugalness. My kids all drive more expensive cars than me.

Aw, c'mon Sil, don't be shy, tell us what you REALLY feel...:-)

Very interesting post Flab FC, I don't know how anyone could refute it...

What can not be refuted is easily ignored, that is how one proceeds when one does not allow fact to interfere with opinion.
--
"To ignore evil is to become an accomplice to it."

10) You use your "Save Tibet" bumper stick to hold on your bumper.

You get this classic line from Star Wars when you take a long road trip: "You came in that? You're braver than I thought."

You use this classic line from Star Wars: "I've made a few special modifications."

Or this one, on your hyper-modified turbo or V8 conversion: "She may not look like much, kid, but she's got it where it counts."

Your overdrive fails as often as the Falcon's hyperdrive.

You and your brick escape near death together on numerous occasions.

You imagine that POR 15 begins to resemble blast damage.

You smuggle contraband in your brick's secret compartment in the floor or trunk.

You won your brick in a poker game.

You visit an old friend for needed repairs during a trip, and they want to know what you've done to "their" brick.
--
'92 240 wagon, 270k, '88 240 sedan 281k

"Your overdrive fails as often as the Falcon's hyperdrive."

A true classic comment! If the Millennium Falcon had an automatic, they could have resolved the issue with a simple solenoid bypass plate and a fresh kick-down cable! Heck, even Chewy could have done the job in a few weeks along with a spare "hair bun"!

Yes, I am still laughing on this one....

jorrell
--
92 245 250K miles, IPD'd to the hilt, 06 XC70, 00 Eclipse custom Turbo setup...currently taking names and kicking reputations!

I almost forgot:

You use this classic line after your heater fan dies in a puff of smoke after emitting an R2-D2like electronic scream:

"I have a bad feeling about this."

That's a pretty funny Star Wars analogy/comparison! Good one!
--
89 245 'loaded' with a Great Pyrenees

The newest one has 320,000 Km and you realy do think of it as new.
--
Rene

When you can fix a no-start with a whack of a wrench and create a long-lived chuckle.

Late one night after playing a concert, the wifemobile 245 won't start.
I went over to it, tried the key and it started. Hmmm?? Maybe the main fuel pump going out?? Crank sensor recently replaced so was not a suspect.

A few days later after meetings at church, wifemobile wouldn't start again. Church president, a buddy of mine, was in Jackie's passenger seat for a ride home. I was in Sven, ready to leave.

So I tried her car. No go. Quick spark check showed spark. I said to Jackie, "I'm going to sniff your tailpipe". President buddy broke out laughing at the off-color line. Sure enough, with all that cranking there was no fuel smell in the tailpipe. Pres still laughing.

Reached into tool kit, grabbed adjustable wrench and flashlight. "Start cranking and keep going!" Whack, whack on pump box with wrench. Vroom!

Made an appointment to get the pump changed. No more no-starts.

My buddy repeated the tailpipe line for at least a few weeks every time we bumped into each other.

--
Sven: '89 245 NA, 951 ECU, expanded air dam, forward belly pan reaches oem belly pan, airbox heater upgraded, E-fan, 205/65-15 at 50 psi, IPD sways, no a/c-p/s belt, E-Codes, amber front corner reflectors, aero front face, quad horns, tach, small clock.

if you are driving at 60 mph and the loudest noise you hear is the clock ticking (my '80 245)--just like the Rolls Royce ad campaign in the 60's -- only I don't think they were bragging about how LOUD their clocks were.

You no longer receive Christmas and Birthday cards from the local Volvo dealership, but you do hear from IPD and FCP Groton.........A LOT!!!!!

You can't wait to get o your 300,000 mile badge.

1: You are cruising down the freeway in your brick and see a broken down 240 on the berm, of course with the European reflective safety triangle sitting 30 meters behind the car. You stop to help out, talk with the owner to determine that it just died. Hmmm, on a theory following a quick inspection of the engine compartment, you grab the spare fuel pump relay from your glove box, plug it into their car and BOOM they are on their way again. BTW, great way to make friends!

2: If you have spare body or trim parts in your garage that are in your way for a 240 and see someone getting into their mildly wrecked brick, you talk to them and say hey, I've got the parts you need to fix that damage, stop by and they are yours... installation will take about an hour. Never used that as a pick-up line after 24 years of marriage, but for a single person, it just might work!

3: You know your wife was driving a 240 when she crashed into a creek bank at 55MPH and not only survived, but fully recovered. Okay, the good Lord deserves most of the credit.

4: You pull into the Volvo stealership to buy a dealer-only muffler bearing for your brick. Before you open the door to get out of the car, three sales vultures are on you trying to win the right to buy your ride for a few hundred bucks so they can sell it for $3K! That's when I realized that old muffler bearing was just fine.

5: When you arrive at the Volvo car show, people offer you 3 figures for your snow caps.

6: Finally, you can park your brick in San Diego between a Lambo and a Ferrari, walk away, look back, and are proud that your brick looks better than their techno trash and it costs a heck of a lot less to maintain!

In short, take care of your brick, and it will take care of you, as it is hilarious to hear a Ferrari driver respond to your statement of "yeah, I just bought and installed a set of $39 OEM plug wires that I got from FCP". Did I mention that our bricks will go 10X further for 1000X less cost when compared to a exotic, assuming they can make it that far!

jorrell

ps. the 24x is a legend in its own right, but those who keep them running carry the brick legend in our blood.
--
92 245 250K miles, IPD'd to the hilt, 06 XC70, 00 Eclipse custom Turbo setup...currently taking names and kicking reputations!

Admittedly my experience with 240s is pretty skimpy, but none of the mufflers
I have installed on a 240 or any other car, for that matter, had bearings.....
Now muffler MOUNTS, rubber rings, etc -- I have a box full of them in the garage.
--
George Downs, Bartlesville, Heart of the USA!

Hi George:

After changing the muffler bearings, don't forget to rotate the radio knobs, exchange the stale air in the tires for fresh air and replace the fonobulator!

Those are a few of my favorites...

John
--
If it needs to be maintained, repaired or replaced on a 1990 240, I've probably done it. '90 240DL, 252K looking forward to 300K badge (or sticker??). >>You haven't really worked on a car until you draw blood<< :-}

I think he meant a chrome muffler bearing. Actually he is pulling your leg. Dan

Actually, I think that he was talking about the ever-elusive crenelated, cold-rolled muffler bearing that is manufactured by the Johnson rod-frammis wheel-doohickey thingamajig company. Don't forget to use plenty of realative bearing grease when installing it.

Bill

And lets not forget the Cadillac converter that periodically needs replaced if the oxy2burger sensor in front of it needs replaced. At least a B230F doesn't have a cardboardmeter!
--
92 245 250K miles, IPD'd to the hilt, 06 XC70, 00 Eclipse custom Turbo setup...currently taking names and kicking reputations!

I know we're getting off topic here but do any of you guys know how to check the blinker fluid?

If you remove the reservoir and use a pair of cotter pin pliers, it's pretty easy to remove the microspherical port resonator. This creates a bypass for the fluid to enter the blinker mechanism, shorting the whole system and ensuring you'll never need to check it again.

Of course you could just replace the AMM and fix it permanently.
--
89 245 'loaded' with a Great Pyrenees

If you install the Synchro-Retroverter Drive System, the muffler bearings become a moot point.
Live ON 3DDD Danny! http://www.dddynamo.com/3dclr.html
Larry

You guys are gonna get me in trouble cause I am laughing so hard in my cubicle at work.

BTW, I always keep a container of moxie in my trunk in case nut behind the wheel goes bad.
--
1993 240 Classic; 1992 240; 1997 850 GLT

Hmmm...must try the "spare parts to fix that" line here in Austin...many 30-something women driving around 240 sedans/wagons.
You also reminded me of my experience just the other day...

...while exiting your usual off ramp from the freeway at 5pm rush hour, you notice a newish XC90 with it's flashers on, broken down at the beginning of the off ramp and holding up lots of cars and creating general havoc for everyone. In your trusty 240 you pull up in front of owner and offer him a tow up the hill off the ramp and out of harms way. "I've got a tow truck on the way," he replies, at the same time getting honked at AGAIN for holding up traffic. He quickly relents and you hook up the tow strap and whisk him 1/8 mile to safety. His comment to you at the end of the ordeal is "what kind of car is that?" You, partly chuckling that while being towed he didn't notice the rear end of your vehicle and it's chrome badge, reply
"VOLVO. Same as yours..."
--
89 245 'loaded' with a Great Pyrenees

...every hooker tries to flag you over before they see that your actually a 20-30 yr old and not gray haired.

this happened to me alot, then they would see me and look confused. i'd drive by the stroll on my way to the freeway from my old lady's place.

...you notice that walking out of a store and back into the parking lot, other european car owners tend to park next to you.

...your friends comments range between "sherman tank," "breadbox on wheels" and "downsized school bus."

...the new and fancy X70's, 90's C3's pull up beside you long enough to smile, nod there head, and step on the gas.

...passengers new to riding in a rolling breadbox remark, "do your lights work inside this thing?"

...and finally...

...the receipts you have from FCP and other parts stores begin to outnumber the receipts you have for grocery stores.

--
89 245 'loaded' with a Great Pyrenees

You know you're driving a Volvo 240 when you have an accident with another car at 40 mph, and you are still able to simply open the door, get out, call emergency, and help the other unfortunate soul who is driving a non-Volvo.
--
'89 silver 244DL in Milwaukee WI

This happened to my sister! Thank god she was in a 245. She hit so hard the back doors wouldn't open, and the roof bulged from the A pillar jamming upwards with a vengeance. The only difference in her story is that she called me instead of 911.
--
1982 242 GLT 245k mi: 1985 245 205k mi.

...your Wife gets pulled over for "merging too slowly" onto a major highway(she did reach 55mph, eventually).

...your 7yr old Daughter tells her 1st grade teacher that "My Daddy drives an ANTIQUE car".

...you drive through a hidden radar-trap above the speed limit, but don't get pulled over because the police officer has taken the radar gun back in for recalibration.

and finally...

...you're on a date, both of you in the backseat gettin' hot-n-heavy...she asks "Do you have any protection?"...you reply "Babe, you're in a VOLVO, what more protection do ya' need?"

the V_O_L_V_O keys on your computers keyboard are always cleaner!!!

...When your daughter complains that complete strangers ask her how she likes her Volvo. After all we do teach them not to speak to strangers. Dan

1) A big 32oz 7-11 or QT drink fits nicely in those fractured door pockets. We don't need no stinkin cup holders.

2) Hasn't died yet.

3) You drive a 240 and start to believe you are the fix-it-god because everything is so easy. Then you work on the cars your friends and family own....Toyotas, Fords, GM, Honda, Chrysler, etc.

4) I'm not going to hit another 280,000mi unless rust is outlawed by God.

5) I hit the BB at least once a day and check out 240s, S/V40s, and V70s.

mormit
--
02 S40 , 98 V70 T5 Koni FSDs, IPD swaybars and HD Endlinks, 85 245DL 277,000mi V15cam It takes a licking and keeps on ticking

GREAT thread! Thanks for the laughs, even though most of this stuff is actually rather factual.

Carry on.

Yes In Sweden heat is important so the entire car is built around the heater motor.
Hardest thing about changing the pads are those big round things that get in the way
You visit only 3 times a day?
--
420,000KM and still ticking

When your heater has two settings, Just below the ambient temperature of hell and off.

Ha! Absolutely!

Though, I don't complain when it's -15F, that's for sure, but at 35F there's just no good option.

Or just off. Dan

or squealing like a dying pig (our wifemobile, sorry to say).
--
Sven: '89 245 NA, 951 ECU, expanded air dam, forward belly pan reaches oem belly pan, airbox heater upgraded, E-fan, 205/65-15 at 50 psi, IPD sways, no a/c-p/s belt, E-Codes, amber front corner reflectors, aero front face, quad horns, tach, small clock.

1) you wonder what is the actual total miles on your car.

2) your 245 rear window is foggy or dirty but defroster and wiper don't work.

3) while driving, you make sure to jiggle the key carefully counterwise in the ignition to power up the accessories.

4) you have to gently pull down the front seatbelt across your chest or forever struggle to unlock the spring to pull it out longer.

5) the engine underpan breaks off.

-DS

You scroll through the fan settings trying to find one whose noise you can live with, usually off.

Here is a recent true story: My 16 year old was taking her first behind the wheel test last month in San Diego in our oldest 240 and it was an unusually hot day. The first thing the DMV guy asked was "Does this have Air Conditioning?". Thinking fast, she said YES and pushed the blue switch, which hasn't done anything in 5 years. She didn't want to get off on the wrong foot. Boy am I proud of her. Also, unlike the other two kids that learned to drive on it, she said she LOVES her car! She keeps it immaculate!
--
1993 240 Classic; 1992 240; 1997 850 GLT