Well, I'm learning to navigate the bureaucracy, and I'm in the process of applying for a title for an abandoned 1986 Volvo 244 DL, w/m46+OD, 147k actual miles. A certified letter goes out today to the most recent owner on the title, and if it comes back, or he doesn't try to claim it (sans storage fees, which means he won't!) I can swiftly obtain a clear title to the car.
Last owner purchased the car in '00, and it has 8000 miles less on the title than is on the vehicle. All adds up with the carfax. (If anyone wants to carfax a VIN, just post your VIN with your email on this thread and I'll shoot the info your way).

Seems what happened is this. Foreign dude buys car in '01 from local resident. Never titles it at DMV, slaps tags on it from some other car. Drives it a few months, then takes it into a shop to get emissions inspection/steering rack replaced, decides it's too much, leaves it there with phony tags on it, writes it off as a loss. Car sits on asphalt next to shop for 3.5 years. Mechanic takes a part or two from it over the years (namely two relays), forgets about it.
Car has compression, turns over just fine, just needs a steering rack, tune-up, and fluids.

$400 is a pretty good deal, come to think of it, for a car that runs w/ very little rust. And a good 1-year project!