Well, it's February, time for another round of, er, jokes . . . ?

Finding one of her students making faces at others on the playground, Mrs.

Smith stopped to gently reprove the child. Smiling sweetly the teacher said, "When I was a child, I was told if I made ugly faces I would stay like that."

The student looked up at her and surveyed her face and replied, "Well you can't say you weren't warned."

NEW PROVERBS:

If you're too open minded, your brains will fall out.

Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.

Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, if he

gets angry, he'll be a mile away - and barefoot.

Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you a mechanic.

Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

A closed mouth gathers no feet.

If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.

My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.

Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.

It is easier to get forgiveness than permission. (my personal favorite, one of my philosophies of life)

I have found at my age going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of my face.

If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.

Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.

Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.