My Little ODYSSEY

(You might need a six pack while reading this
in order to rev up the little braincells.)

Epilog :
Homer's Odyssey : 1st chapter:
"Andra moi enneppe, oh mousa, ho polytroppon..."
For those who don't speak greek, here is the translation:
"Oh you smart muse , share your wisdom and tell us the
name of that guy who traveled around and experienced all that.."

It was ME ! And here is the story.

Chapter I : How it began
My AAA plus membership expired February 8. Since I had never
any problem which made towing necessary, I canceled AAA plus
and continued the regular AAA.
Guess what happened on February 9 ? Right, my car broke down.
By some mystic reason it did not start in the driveway.
First I thought about fuelpumprelay, then fuelpump.
I could not see the spark in the bright sunlight, that was my
mistake. It is really essential to read the FAQ over and over again.
Keep the feet warm and the head cool while having car problems.

Chapter II : Fools and Fuelpumps
So I try to purchase a fuelpump. You can find so much junk
out there in Autozone, Kragen, Pepboys. The fuelpumps have
not the right electric connectors, some mickymouse has to be done.
The pumps are POS made from plastic and so tiny small about the size
of the Volvo washerpump. If I have seen right over the counter
they sell the same pump for turbo or Non-turbo according to
their motto: Once YOU bought it , its YOUR problem.

Chapter III : Diagnostic mechanic or Trial & Error mechanic
I decided to let the car tow to the next mechanic (Porsche,
BMW,Mercedes,VW,Volvo). My second mistake.
At least he found out the fuelpump is not the problem.
Then he started to call around his friends
for remote diagnose over the phone.
After that he started guessing what we can change and
he can charge. (He try to double his 401k with me.)
After several heartattacks about his price prognosis.
(He charges 1200 $ for a Porsche tune-up - plus parts)
I called the real Volvo guy, then AAA and let the car
tow a second time on that day, this time to a real Volvo shop.

Chapter IV: The Culprit
He found out the problem really quick. The DISTRIBUTOR !
Correctly the ignition sensor. Without signal from the
ignition sensor in the distributor the computer does not
switch-on the ignition power stage as well as the fuel pump relay.
So in problem-diagnosis that means:
(Shakespeare: Spark or No Spark - thats the real question !)
The sad thing is, last year the rotor and the distributor
cap were replaced.

Chapter V : Conclusion
Once the car has 150 k miles or more, replace the whole (!)
distributor with rotor, cap, sensor and oil seals.
350 $ all inclusive
Saves a lot of trouble and headache.

Chapter VI : Surprise, Surprise
When I picked up the car I noticed immediately a groaning and
mourning in the steering rack/column.
And now the car is going to the right.
There is only one possibility how that happened. The towing.
The first towing was on a flatbed with all 4 wheels lifted.
The second towing was rear first with rear drivetrain wheels lifted.

Chapter VII : Why, tell me why
I see only one reason. The 1st towtruckdriver pulled the car
on the bed and then secured it by attaching large hooks on the axles
on all 4 corners. Probably the force of these hooks is too much
for a sensitive Volvo. The front axle must have been damaged.
May be also the steering rack.

Chapter VIII : Prevention
There is no real point on the frame where the towtrucker
can hook up the securing chains.
Front:
The only towhook is only on one side, asymmetric.
What on the other side? So they take the axle.
ASAP I will go to the junkyard, get a second towhook and mount
it on the other side, even there is no opening in the spoiler.
I'm not sure about the holepattern on the hook,
maybe some drilling required.
Rear :
I found a hitch on the junkyard and installed it.
(It was like Julius Caesar in the Roman Empire:
"Veni,Vidi,Vici" : For those who don't speak latin, it means:
I came to the yard, saw it and took it - yahoo !)
Now the towtrucker can use the hitchframe to secure the car.
BTW the original rear towhook is PLASTIC !

Chapter IX : Spares
I will go to the junkyard and get a fuelpump, computer, distributor
and ignition power stage and keep it always in the car.
I should start to look for a steering rack now.

Chapter X : And what else
I called AAA to upgrade my membership to AAA plus.
They want the 8 digit member number.
On the regular AAA card the membernumber has 10 digits,
but on the AAA plus card the number is only 9 digits.
Hey you morons at AAA - are you listening ?

Chapter XI : Little Aristotle (greek philosopher 350 BC)
If you don't service your car regularly, you pay the higher
price for repairs. And if you do service your car real good,
sometimes something fails and breaks down , though.

Chapter XII : Little Aristotle II
The 26 $ more for a AAA plus with 100 miles free towing is a bargain.
But when they destroy the steering/suspension it's a PITA.



Homer came home and told his adventures and so did I.
("quot errat demonstrandum" (latin) : that was it)



GN Long Beach 745 1986