Hello everyone, Australia's dodgiest Volvo mechanic is back, this time my '77 245 Van is stranded in a country town with a blown welsh plug.

I managed to get my brick registered on Friday, having passed the inspection required for cars which have been off the road for as long as mine. It was certified roadworthy and I got myself some plates, drove it round for a day or so and satisfied myself that it was as ready as it was going to be.

I set off for college (500kms away) on Sunday afternoon, knowing that the brick, with a dying fuel pump, might not make it, but with no other way of getting back to Armidale. I figured that if I could make it up, I could deliver Pizzas in it to pay for any other work it still needed.

Apart from having to keep the fuel level close to full all the way, the brick went wonderfully for the first 200kms, I'm very proud of having got it that far. As dusk was aproaching and I was settling back for the 300kms of night driving ahead of me, my temp gauge shot into the red and my engine started making strange noises. I pulled off the highway, the engine stalling as soon as I put my foot on the clutch.

I raised the bonnet, no coolant. Strange, I thought to myself, how did I loose it so quickly. I started it up and let it idle so as not to crack the head when I added water, then poured the contents of my water bottle into the expansion tank. It came out the back of the motor as fast as I poured it in.

I suspected a heater hose, but it was too hot to get close and check. Not to worry, I thought, I had the forsight to sign up for roadside assistence when I insured the brick. I rang the NRMA (National road and motoring association) and they sent a service truck out. The mechanic also suspected a heater hose and tightened mine up, with great difficulty. Then we tried adding water, which shot straight out the side of the motor. Blown welsh plug in the block just below number four exhaust port

The NRMA mechanic, who should have known better, mistook the Volvo design core plugs for ordinary plugs which had been put back in back to front. He advised me that if I wanted to fix it myself, I should go down to the auto parts store in the morning and find one to fit. In the meantime he directed me to a park I could take the brick to if I wanted to sleep in it.

After a full day yesterday of chasing a non existant part, then trying to fit a standard welsh plug into the hole I finally talked to a mechanic who told me about the design of these plugs. By the time I'd found a machine shop who told me that they were unavailable in Singleton (pop 20-000) it was too late to contact anyone. I borrowed my mother's credit card details to check into a motel for the night (thanks mum).

First thing this morning (Tuesday) I got through to the nice people at Volvo Newcastle who said they could have it to me in the morning. If I could have got some competant advice from the people I pay for roadside assistance I'd be on my way by now.

So now I'm at singleton public libary asking for any advice on putting this plug in once I get it, (since no one in this town wants to touch the job, or even knows what the part is I have to do it myself) Will it just tap straight in with the exhaust manifold off or should I pull the steering collum out as well (right hand drive in Australia means the steering and brake booster are in the way)

Thanks for reading all this, I don't really have much else to do right now. Because I can only run the car for 30 seconds at a time my battery's a bit dead, so I now need to get someone to jump start me out of the Motel car park.

Hopefully I can get it together tomorrow, 4 days in this place is quite enough, in future I trust my own Volvo sense, and not country mechanics. In my defense it was dark and I'd been on the road all day, but still, I spend all my free time under bricks and I know what they look like.

Any advice to get me out of here? Please?
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Drive it like you hate it