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I am very sympathetic to you plight, and certainly didn't mean to imply that it is owner error, either yours or the middle-aged engineer. ( By the way, however, in the medical profession there is a clear relationship between age and inappropriate treatment in several studies. But I digress.)
I just feel that there's something we're missing here, as my brain is having a hard time reconciling this. If that 'handful' of cars were generalizable to the population of 960s, I think we'd have a small revolution on our hand, or at least a recall. Volvo may do dumb things, but they're not stupid. That is not to say that there have not been major design flaws in cars, including Volvo. The trouble with a small sample, is it's a small sample. Good luck!
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John Shatzer, '97 V90 @ 110K
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