I'm about to have to do have the following work done:

ETS module - $875

Timing belt / tensioner - $495

Something's wrong with my parking brakes. I just changed the rear pads and rotors, and before I changed them, I noticed they made contact with the rotors when I drove and scraped a bit. When I did the brake job (1 hour ago) I adjusted them to give the rotor some more room - now they still make noise but don't function at all. Yay. I figure $500.

When I was staring at the passenger side parking brakes, I decided to check the driver's side to see if everything was the same - have a reference. I learned that I know nothign about parking brakes. Afterwards, I resumed replacing the brakes on the passenger side and STOOPIDLY pressed in the brake pedal (this is stupid, I don't need to be reminded, I need a pep talk) forgetting the driver's side caliper had no resistance and MIGHT have blown the piston too far out. The piston extended out of the little rubber thing, and when it went back in, there was trace brake fluid. Yay. I figure $500.

Also - my headlights don't work. The good news is that this is under recall - free.

There are numerous other minor issues - namely the button on the shifter is sticky - and can take some 'touch' to release and allow me to remove my keys.

So I'm out $2500. Unless the caliper/piston and park brakes just need adjusting. I bought the car new, and it's pushing 7, but only has 59k.

Someone out there toot the Volvo horn and make me feel good about driving this Swedish thing until my 4 year old turns 16, whereupon he drops to his knees and praises me for being the coolest dad EVAH for handing him the keys to the venerable V70.

I need this, because what I'd LIKE to do is douse it with gasoline and light it on fire while it coasts in neutral (no parking brake) down the hill in front of my house and into the river. But what I'm GOING to do is drive to the dealer and have them stick it long and deep inside, while I act reasonably polite and hand them $2500.