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Strange electrical behavior S80 2008

My wife went to move the car tonight, and the dash went black, car wouldn't start, seat wouldn't move. I went out, and noticed the left front parking light (maybe others, too) was blinking. Somewhere in there, the windshield wipers started going back and forth (not at the setting indicated by the lever). A jumper box did not change the behavior. Our son and I did some checking. Battery was showing 12.32 volts, and the terminals were clean, clamps tight. Right at the end of the testing, I tried starting it again, and the battery voltage went from 12 to 6 volts, where it seemed to stay.

Bad battery? Gremlins in the circuits?

It's acting like an older British car, which is not a pleasant thought.

If we have to have it towed, it won't be until Monday (dealership doesn't have weekend hours, although our mechanic across the street works on Saturday), and, at the moment, it's facing up the narrow driveway and blocking our RV, which I had planned to take into the tire place Monday to check something. Is there a non-destructive way to override the shifter lockout, so I can put it in neutral and roll it down to the street, both so it can be towed and so I can get the RV out?






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