I do not know if you are doing this already or not but, shoot that damn connector back down onto the top of the trans. It will make for a much stabler platform to work from. What I do is shoot it back down and then get a set of needle nose vice grips and clamp down on the back end that you are going to pull straight up after you get it disengaged. Clamp down tight enough to hold but not so tight that you screw stuff up, then take a probe down the back side and push the little blue tongue back out of the way while pulling up lightly on the vice grips. It is kind of a bitch the first time but once you figure it out it all makes sense and then you will never have to do another one again.

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