RI has the same emission standards as CA. RI also has snow and salt, the car body is zinc coated, but not the nuts and bolts under the car which can make it harder to work on. You might want to opt for AWD in your new state. The car market is smaller but Boston is pretty close.

Depending on family size, you might also consider an XC60 or XC90, with the 60 easier to park.

I am surprised the 04 hasn't blown any seals. Synthetic oil is REQUIRED. I suspect a lot of the oil passages are blocked with sludge, the PCV is probably 80% blocked, and some of the rings are stuck.

At 185K, your struts/shocks are over due by 40K. Check the brake fluid for color and level, it may need changing. You engine mounts are probably on their last legs.
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Keeping it running is better than buying new