Good News ! Took care to Dealer. I think they thought I was nuts, but they were extremely professional, took me back into the shop etc. To make a long story short, Volvo CHARGES for any adjustments to the auto-dim mirror. Their main computer board is also inside the mirror on the S80, which is why you can not turn it off like you can on the C70(only an auto-dim mirror on the C70).

They called the sales mgr who auth'd the download of the "key" to load software that makes the adjustment and they would absord the cost(they said it wasn't much). Factory setting for nightime dim was NORMAL, they changed it to DARK. This has made a huge difference to my "night sensitive" eyes, because by the mirror starting off DARKER at night, when the rear sensor kicks in from lights hitting you from behind, it gts even darker and compensates to elim glare..
My only complaint (and I will give my feedback to Volvo) is that they said the heat temp on the leather seats can be adjusted for FREE! but the mirror needed this software download. WHY IN THE WORLD would they consider the mirror a "personal preference" and the heater a necessity item. Somebody in a highly paid position ain't doing their job right when it comes to customer service.
The mirror issue, to me, is a SAFETY issue (lights glaring from behind and not even a manual method to dimm mirror)..

Oh well, all if fixed to my satisfaction now.