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1. you did sheck the fluid levels with the engine hot (after 30 minute drive) and with the engine running i presume (ok i know you did and its a stupid question...but...)
2. have you checked the top engine mount (and i mean changed it....) when i did my tranny flush i got harsh changes till i tracked down a shot mount, the old fluid must have had enough 'bounce' in it to 'hide' the mount issue...
3. Sorry cant help on the other issues but my trans definately never goes iunto neutral by itself...have you tried 'ratchet' cleaning the shifter switch - some say this can help issues like this (also wondering about engine movement from a shot mount under engine breaking being enough to influence something...)
hope you find a nice easy solution!
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