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Here goes:
Q: How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Six. One to turn the bulb, one for support, and four to relate to the experience.
Q: How many Oregonians does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Five. One to change the bulb and four more to chase off the Californians who have come up to relate to the experience.
Q: How many New Yorkers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None of your business!
Q: How many Virginians does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Twelve: one to replace it and eleven to talk about how much better the old one was.
Q: How many people from New Jersey does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Three. One to change the light bulb, one to be a witness, and the third to shoot the witness.
Q: How many Ukrainians does it take to change a light bulb?
A: They don't need to, they glow in the dark.
Q: How many software people does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two. One always leaves in the middle of the project.
Q: How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. They just have marketing portray the dead bulb as a feature.
Q: How many Unix hacks does it take to change a light bulb?
A: As many as you want; they're all virtual, anyway.
Q: How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
Q: How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
Q: How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Three: One to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
Q: How many [IBM] Technical Writers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Just one, provided there's an engineer around to explain how to do it.
Q: How many mathematicians does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One. He gives it to six Californians, thereby reducing the problem to an earlier joke.
Q: How many consultants does it take to change a light bulb?
A: We don't know. They never get past the feasibility study.
Q: How many supply-siders does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. The darkness will cause the light bulb to change by itself.
Q: How many efficiency experts does it take to replace a light bulb?
A: None. Efficiency experts replace only dark bulbs.
Q: How many economists does it take to replace a light bulb?
A: None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would replace itself.
Q: How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None: The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
Q: How many Zen masters does it take to change a light bulb?
A: A tree in a golden forest.
Q: How many existentialists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two: One to change it and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
Q: How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two, one to hold the giraffe, and the other to fill the bathtub with brightly colored machine tools.
Q: How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
Q: How many doctors does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Three. One to find a bulb specialist, one to find a bulb installation specialist, and one to bill it all to Medicare.
Q: How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Only one, but he gets three publications out of it.
Q: How many frat guys does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Three: One to change it, and the other two to help him down off the keg.
Q: How many Harvard students does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Just one. He grabs the bulb and waits for the world to revolve around him.
Q: How many brewers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: About one third less than for a regular bulb.
Q: How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
Q: How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two, one to change it almost all the way and the other to give it a surprising twist at the end.
Q: How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
Q: How many `Real Men' does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None: `Real Men' aren't afraid of the dark.
Q: How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None: A 'Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it.
Q: How many Feminists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: That's not funny!!!
Q: How many straight male West Hollywood residents does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Either of them could probably do it themselves.
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