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....was a SMALL medium at large
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A young Scottish lad and lass were sitting on a low stone wall, holding
hands, gazing out over the loch.
For several minutes they sat silently, then finally the girl looked at
the boy and said, "A penny for your thoughts, Angus."
"Well, uh, I was thinkin'...perhaps it's aboot time for a wee kiss."
The girl blushed, then leaned over and kissed him lightly on the cheek.
Then he blushed.
The two turned once again to gaze out over the loch.
Minutes passed, then the girl spoke again. "Another penny for your
thoughts, Angus."
"Well, uh I was thinkin'...perhaps its noo aboot time for a wee cuddle."
The girl blushed, then leaned over and cuddled him for a few seconds.
Then he blushed.
Then the two turned once again to gaze out over the loch.
After a while, she again said, "Another penny for your thoughts, Angus."
"Well, uh I was thinkin'...perhaps its aboot time you let me pewt ma
hand on yer leg."
The girl blushed, then took his hand and put it on her knee.
Then he blushed.
Then the two turned once again to gaze out over the loch before the
girl spoke again.
"Another penny for your thoughts, Angus."
The young man glanced down with a furled brow. "Well, noo," he said,
"my thoughts are a wee bit more serious this time."
"Really?" said the girl in a whisper, filled with anticipation.
"Aye," said the lad, nodding.
The girl looked away in shyness, began to blush, and bit her lip in
anticipation of the ultimate request.
And he said, "Dae ye nae think it's aboot time ye paid me the first
three pennies?"
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Genetic Engineering
There was once a veterinarian who loved to hack gene sequences.
One day he successfully grafted pieces of cantaloup DNA to the DNA of a dog zygote. The engineered zygote soon developed into a little puppy.
The result was far less dramatic than one might expect. The animal was recognizably canine, if tiny and roly poly. Its fur had an overall orange tint.
The vet raised the puppy to adulthood and all was generally fine, though the animal was rather small and rotund.
The veterinarian noticed that his dog was becoming lethargic and increasingly morose. Being concerned with the animal's overall health and mental well-being, the vet tried many things to cure his dog's apparent depression.
After all, he felt guilty that its growing languishment could be the direct result of his genetic experimentation.
He tried altering the animal's diet, its exercise, and its play, but nothing seemed to help.
Finally he took the dog to an animal psychiatrist.
The vet sat in the waiting room while the orange tinted dog was in with the animal counselor.
Finally the door opened, and the veterinarian rose to his feet. The psychiatrist came out with the dog.
"Tell me, Doctor. What's wrong? Is my dog going to be okay?"
"Don't worry, Doctor. He'll be fine. He's just a little melon collie."
--
George Downs, The "original" Walrus3, Bartlesville, Oklahoma
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