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Mario;
How many miles are on this engine?
I wouldn't sweat the detergent vs non-detergent issue. No engine was "made" for non-detergent oil. The so-called problem arises when an engine has been run with ND oil for a length of time and then is changed to detergent type. This can loosen gum, varnish and nasty particles that will now swim around in the oil and can clog the filter.
The only cars on which this is a critial issue are those without filters (like air-cooled VW and older Porsche engines). Otherwise just change the filter regularly and you will be OK.
Vapors are a part of an infernal combustion engine. Gas "shooting" out of vents is a problem, however!
Head leaks are "funny." It is possible (but unlikely) for oil to get into the cooing system in very small amounts and accumulate over the heat/cool cycles the engine undergoes daily. Ditto for water in the oil but in very small amounts it will evaporate before the "milkshake" occurs. Guaranteed it won't get better.
I do hope it is the water pump but I expect it is about time to "freshen" the mill anyway and some attention to the head's condition is entirely warranted, ESPECIALLY if you have been experiencing cooling difficulties.
Mike!
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