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I use a 20 Watt iron for the small soldered connections and a 150-200 Watt soldering gun for the larger connections, such as the lugs and the relay frame (to the circuit board).
Be sure you use electronics solder, NOT plumbing solder.
You can probably get everything you need at Radio Shack for less than the cost of a replacement relay from the dealer.
The short tutorial below may be helpful. I copied it from a Heathkit manual -- soldering was an essential skill needed to build electronic kits.

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Don Foster (near Cape Cod, MA)
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