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Your proposed test method is rather inventive and seems fine to me. The downside is that you have to fabricate the jumpers (probably with Faston terminals). If the fuses are in a conveneint location and are of the type with exposed probe points on the top, a voltmeter accomplishes the same thing (because you can reproduce the fault condition virtually on demand).
If both fuses are good (conductive), and battery voltage can be measured at both fuses with 1 bulb out, then the fault lies between fuse and bulb.
Based on the apparent comfort level with electrical terminology reflected in your posts, I think the "last ditch workaround" will be within your skill-set. I could post a detailed drawing.
BTW, I located a partial set of 2005 S80 wiring diagrams, which hopefully have the correct wire colors. They don't look like "official" Volvo schematics so I don't know the source. The headlamps drawing is identical to what I posted except the relays and sense resistors are not shown. The CEM connects directly to the bulb filaments via fuses.
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