thanks to David Hunter, rstarkie, and Chrissij for your imput.
new update.
a mechanic came to our house and got the car started but he says there is an electrical problem.

near the battery negative terminal attached to the car wall is an object with four wires going into it from a white plastic connector which leads to 'i don't know where'. the car started when the mechanic jumped it from the battery. he says whatever that object is (he doesn't know the name of it or its purpose) it isn't getting any charge.

any ideas?
I really don't want to have to take this to an electrician, they are so expensive around here - the one I used to use moved away.

thanks so much
rachel